I have always found it heartbreaking that Blaine went to a party where he didn’t know anyone except for the guy he came with, and proceeded to get absolutely shit-faced. I think it says a lot about his character that he was that reckless with himself and his body, and apparently gave no thought as to how he would get home afterwards (I think that if they had discussed it beforehand Kurt would have let Burt know that he would possibly have a friend staying over). Looking at this behavior, it makes his specific-sounding example he gave to Burt during Sexy about the danger of Kurt going to a party and getting drunk and being taken advantage of, seem like it came from a personal place. We don’t know much about Blaine’s life before Kurt meets him, but Blaine was lucky that with the New Directions he was among people who were not going to force or coerce him in to anything; but if he had been among seedier characters there would have been potential for things to go bad very quickly for him.
I still get sad feelings about this.
“I really miss you….a lot….”
It is important to note that Kurt can’t see Blaine here, and I think this is the most raw and open we’ve seen Blaine allow himself to be. Even more so than during his tearful confession in Emma’s office last season. Frequently throughout the conversation we see Blaine wince, take steadying breaths, and bite back tears of frustration. In comparison during this scene, Kurt’s face is seen as being more impassive and neutral. This doesn’t mean Kurt doesn’t also miss Blaine, but it is showing a contrast to the type of emotion they are feeling. Kurt sees their current situation as a blip, just a speed bump in their future; however Blaine is feeling their separation in a very visceral way.
“What am I supposed to do till then, hold my breath?”
After that confession, you see Blaine swallow in an attempt to reel his emotions back in. His face breaks a little, and he bites his lip. There is very real, raw pain on his face that I think was deliberate on Darren’s part. There is more going on here than Blaine missing Kurt, he needs him right now in a very desperate, emotional level. Whether or not this, and his later actions of infidelity, are symptoms of depression as some have speculate, remains to be seen.
“I think there’s all kinds of things that have happened to Blaine in his life, and he’s proved to be a lot more angrier person than you originally saw. He’s definitely a calm and composed guy on the surface who has a lot of aggression from his home life and otherwise.” (x)
“You were a little pitchy on Rio, and your moves lacked a theme…”
In the very first gif we see Blaine’s reaction as soon as Cooper starts to criticize him; he freezes for a second and you see his jaw clench like he is bracing himself. Darren played this really well because it is very subtle, but you can see his whole body tense. This was something Blaine was expecting to hear.
“You waste no opportunity to remind me how much I suck…at…like…everything”
The word choice here is so telling, because Blaine doesn’t say “you tell me how much I suck at everything,” he says “remind.” Blaine uses the word remind because he doesn’t need Cooper to tell him how much he sucks, he already tells himself this every day. His delivery of “everything” makes it seem like this is something that is almost getting overwhelming for him, his perceived every day failure. Its interesting to hear the difference in deliveries between when I think Darren is playing Blaine as ‘the real Blaine,’ and when he is playing Blaine as playing the role of “Blaine Anderson.” By that I mean, I believe much of what we see as ‘Blaine Anderson’ on the show is actually this very deliberate persona that he fights to keep up and maintain, and I think Darren does make a point to play him as having this duality to his personality: the public and confident persona, and the damaged and insecure side.
This calm immediately following anger is starting to become a trend for Blaine. We saw it in Going on Sixteen in the scene with Finn, and we are seeing it here; Blaine has bursts of honesty and anger, followed by quickly deflating as soon as the other person hints that Blaine could do something to earn their love/attention/approval. With Finn, it was the moment that he implied he needed Blaine (*deflates* “What do you need me to do?” -Blaine) and here it is when Cooper says that he wants them to be closer. One other thing I’m struck with is how honest and open Blaine is all the time. We can’t accuse him of really “bottling” things up, because I feel like when pushed he is always open and readily admits what his problem is.
Please share your favorite Blaingst! I love me some sad Blaine.
I just posted a masterpost of my Blaingst character study series here
Blaingst series MASTERPOST
Blaingst series is a set of sad little headcanons and character studies on Blaine Anderson. This is a masterpost of the series so far that I decided to make since I am working on a new edition.
“I don’t know what I’m doing…I pretend like I do.”
Blaine is, for the first time, dropping the act and actually admitting out loud that he is just as confused and ignorant as any other teenager. After he admits “I don’t know what I’m doing,” (the gif on the left) you can see him search Kurt’s face for any sort of judgement, and you see his expression soften hopefully. He isn’t perfect, and he wants so badly for Kurt to still accept him. After Kurt quips “…but I get to be Meg Ryan,” you can see in Blaine’s face that he wants so very badly for Kurt to be ok with this. He doesn’t share Kurt’s romantic feelings just yet, but their relationship clearly means a lot to Blaine. And Blaine trusts Kurt enough to finally be vulnerable and honest with him.
“Wasn’t this prom supposed to be about redemption? About taking away that lump you had in your throat from running away?”
This is a little moment that we see reflected on Blaine’s face, but Kurt’s comments hit home. Blaine is still wounded and running from what happened at his last dance. This is why it is important that Kurt is ok after this; that he marches back in there and makes it ok. Blaine needs to see somebody bounce back, because he needs to know that he still can.
“So you think it’s cool if I jam with you guys at prom?”
I always look at this scene whenever people accuse Blaine of being an attention whore. That first gif is his sad hopeful little smile after he asks Finn if he can perform with them. He isn’t being cocky and feeling entitled, he just really wants to perform and is nervous he’s going to be shut down. It is possible Kurt already told him it was ok, but Blaine just needed to hear it from someone else because he didn’t want to overstep his bounds.
“You know what I wore to my prom?…”
Blaine looks almost drunk off of the parental attention here, like he could listen to Burt talk for hours about anything. Darren has said in several interviews that Blaine is drawn to (and envious of) the relationship that Burt and Kurt have, and also that Blaine has “daddy issues.” I like to take things like this into consideration because although the actors don’t write the show, what they believe the character is feeling dictates how they play a scene. Blaine’s character as we’ve seen him so far seems to need constant approval and positive reinforcement. I don’t think this is an issue of ego, but rather an instance of a combination of being a needy person and also being attention starved.
[Note: Sorry about any numbering confusion. I know I’ve already moved on to edition 4.0 but I still have more ~feelings about Prom Queen.]
In my opinion this is one of the most debated and misunderstood Blaine scenes. The “sex talk” with Burt. As fun as it is to play up the “oh Blaine is so inappropriate and clueless” game, I don’t think thats whats going on here. Because you can see clearly on his face that this conversation is difficult and uncomfortable for him, but he still goes through with it; he is being brave.
When he first talks of building a car with his dad, it’s with a smile on his face as he alludes to the many attempts at “bonding” by his father. The very first gif is his face right after he confesses to Burt that he thinks it was actually an attempt to get his hands dirty and straighten him out. He looks apologetic and embarrassed to even admit this (I wouldn’t be surprised if Burt was the first person Blaine voiced his suspicion to), especially to the man who’s relationship with his son he is “blown away” by. Blaine lied because he seems to like glossing over and dismissing the bad things that happen to him.
This entire scene Blaine is the most vulnerable we had seen him up to this point, all for the sake of Kurt (and I do believe he had only the most honorable intentions, despite the fact that shortly after he realized the extent of his feelings for Kurt). I also think Burt is a smart enough guy to have recognized that in exchange for putting them both in an awkward situation, Blaine laid some very raw emotions out on the table.
“While we were waiting for his dad to come pick us up, these three guys….beat the living crap out of us.”
Was Blaine ever going to tell Kurt about this? I don’t think he would have ever offered this information voluntarily. But what is interesting is that it doesn’t take much prodding from Kurt for him to freely admit what had happened, so I don’t think he had ever intended to intentionally deceive or keep information from Kurt. But in order to function Blaine probably had had to repress these memories quite a while ago, and had quite likely not thought about the events of that night in some time. In that first gif it almost looks like he is suddenly remembering everything, and it makes him pause. When he talks about it, he seems numb and removed without a trace of anger, and yet he still can’t say the words “beat the living crap out of us” without freezing for a moment (like it is difficult for him to even speak outloud).
His uncomfortable laugh and “its just a bit of a sore spot” is his way of trying to brush it off, to minimize what happened because he can see the shock and pity on Kurt’s face (“I’m so sorry…”). Because he can’t dwell on it. Blaine doesn’t like the idea of being a victim.